Sometimes we let life get too hard. It isn’t nearly as difficult as we let it become. Life is nothing more than waking up each day, nourishing ourselves, finding shelter, and getting some rest. Living our life on the other hand is complex. We try so hard to live up to others expectations, real or perceived. We want to fit in, to matter, to be loved, to contribute, to know that if we left this earth we would be missed. That is a lot to live up to! Why do we let it all become so difficult?
I started this blog because I used to love to write and thought I would enjoy blogging. I would just type my thoughts and send them out into the universe for others to read and relate to. My expectations were too lofty. I find myself typing, deleting, typing, editing, typing deleting. I bet for every 100 words I post, I have deleted 500. And then to realize that the words I have posted may have come off “braggy” and “insincere”. Yikes! I truly am not a “braggy” person about my own accomplishments (I may brag a little about my husband and daughters though).
Someone I love dearly mentioned that on my last blog I said, “I am loving my life”, and that I got into “two juried shows”, and it sounded arrogant. When this person called me out on these “braggy” statements I was hurt. I didn’t intend to come off braggy or insincere. I was just excited about getting into these shows and I was having an exceptional day painting and doing my art so I said, “I am loving my life”.
This person was well intentioned in calling me out on my statements, but I think it was unfair to judge me based on one post. I hope that you haven’t. When I was first made aware of the impact of my statements I decided I would no longer attempt to blog. I thought about how thousands of people would think me arrogant and full of myself. Then I realized (yes, reality finally hit) that I don’t have anyone following my blog, it’s just me sending my thoughts out to the masses who have millions of other things in their lives and could care less about whether or not I came off as vain.
So here I am, trying once again to find my voice. To figure out what I want to say and if it truly matters. I will stumble again, but I will also get up. I am learning to embrace my imperfections and to continue forward. I think the best thing we can do in life is find our passion and follow it!